A New Chapter.

Words cannot explain how I completely feel, but I will try my best to compose my thoughts into this post.

On Saturday, June 11, 2011, I became an official high school graduate. While tears came down my fellow classmates’ eyes and everyone was impacted by the feeling that everything was coming to an end, I was actually okay. I did not think everything was ending. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life.

So many things happened throughout the years. I met new friends when I came back to Hercules. I re-developed my relationships with friends I met in preschool and elementary school. I learned the importance of asking questions and taking control. I forgot what it was like to have a dad. I got my first boyfriend. I learned how to drive. I got into fights with my mom and sister. I took on more responsibilities. I lost friends, but found my true friends. But most importantly, I learned how to be independent and discovered who I am.

I am sure I still have more to learn, but I think I made decent progress growing up. And to be honest, it really was because I had a dad who wasn’t around anymore and a mom who had to work full-time to make ends meet. I started to feel what it was like to have most of the responsibilities. I know I cannot change the past, but I will always wonder what it would have been like to live my teenage years with my whole family together. Would I be different from how I am now? Would I not feel ready to face the world on my own because I had both of my parents spoonfeeding me? I will never know. But really, I thank my mom for everything. Without her, I would not be who I am today. As for my dad, I do not know what to say. Unfortunately, he took barely any part in my teenage life and shows no regret. I will forever be disappointed.

Of course I am still excited for this new chapter in my life. But I realized that I am also overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at the fact that I am growing up and that my life is solely in my hands now. Nothing is spoonfed to me anymore and no one can hold my hand when I make mistakes. I am on my own.

But despite this overwhelming feeling, I am confident. I am scared, but I know that everything will be okay as long as I do something about it. I cannot be lazy, weak, or even, cocky. I must be productive, strong, and faithful. I need to re-establish my priorities and set goals that I will strive to succeed. Life will always try to challenge me, but I must remember that I am the winner.