People always ask me, “How’s life?” Honestly, it’s great, but it can always be better. Like any other person, I don’t think I’ll be fully satisfied with life. Nothing will ever be perfect. I will always want more.
Words cannot explain how I completely feel, but I will try my best to compose my thoughts into this post.
On Saturday, June 11, 2011, I became an official high school graduate. While tears came down my fellow classmates’ eyes and everyone was impacted by the feeling that everything was coming to an end, I was actually okay. I did not think everything was ending. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life.
So many things happened throughout the years. I met new friends when I came back to Hercules. I re-developed my relationships with friends I met in preschool and elementary school. I learned the importance of asking questions and taking control. I forgot what it was like to have a dad. I got my first boyfriend. I learned how to drive. I got into fights with my mom and sister. I took on more responsibilities. I lost friends, but found my true friends. But most importantly, I learned how to be independent and discovered who I am.
I am sure I still have more to learn, but I think I made decent progress growing up. And to be honest, it really was because I had a dad who wasn’t around anymore and a mom who had to work full-time to make ends meet. I started to feel what it was like to have most of the responsibilities. I know I cannot change the past, but I will always wonder what it would have been like to live my teenage years with my whole family together. Would I be different from how I am now? Would I not feel ready to face the world on my own because I had both of my parents spoonfeeding me? I will never know. But really, I thank my mom for everything. Without her, I would not be who I am today. As for my dad, I do not know what to say. Unfortunately, he took barely any part in my teenage life and shows no regret. I will forever be disappointed.
Of course I am still excited for this new chapter in my life. But I realized that I am also overwhelmed. Overwhelmed at the fact that I am growing up and that my life is solely in my hands now. Nothing is spoonfed to me anymore and no one can hold my hand when I make mistakes. I am on my own.
But despite this overwhelming feeling, I am confident. I am scared, but I know that everything will be okay as long as I do something about it. I cannot be lazy, weak, or even, cocky. I must be productive, strong, and faithful. I need to re-establish my priorities and set goals that I will strive to succeed. Life will always try to challenge me, but I must remember that I am the winner.
From the locker-filled hallways to the loud cafeteria, quiet classrooms, and now the World Wide Web - bullying seems to follow someone everywhere.
Teenagers, in general, just aren’t the “precious little angels” most parents describe them to be. Some of them sneak out of their houses late at night or party when they are supposed to be sleeping over at a friend’s house, and others lose their virginity or engage in drugs and alcohol. However, now there’s something else added to the list: teenagers are getting meaner.
The definition of bullying has changed and expanded over the years. The stereotype of a bully remains as a large boy or girl who steals innocent people’s lunch money, forces them to do their homework, and stuffs them in lockers if they disobey. Now, ordinary name-calling and texting naked or exposing pictures of someone to hundreds of people are categorized as bullying. However, what is becoming the biggest problem is teenage girls calling each other “sluts,” “whores,” and “losers,” and threatening other girls for their own personal gain.
It is difficult to believe for those who have never experienced any type of name-calling or teasing that bullying still exists today, mainly because stereotypical bullying has shifted into something more extreme. High school females, for example, are now willing to do anything to inflict pain and humiliation to others by turning the entire school against their victims or constantly harassing them on their social networking sites. In the end, this extreme bullying seems to come down to competition. Whether it is being the prettiest, skinniest girl with the high-end clothes and perfect hair or the one with the most attractive-looking boyfriend, all girls seem to stop at nothing to get what they want. Perhaps that is why girls feel a need to step on someone else in order to reach the top of the social ladder. If they feel threatened, they will do everything in their power to feel secure again, even if it means losing their class, or their minds, for a moment.
Despite how long bullying has been around, reasons for this extreme behavior are still pretty vague. Bullying could well be a stress-reliever, a hobby, or revenge for once being humiliated. However, some believe that movies, shows, and reality television play factors in bullying. In films and programs such as Mean Girls, One Tree Hill, Real World, and Jersey Shore, girls are seen to utter vulgar terms such as “sluts,” “whores,” and “bitches” quite frequently, start physical fights, and humiliate another by spray-painting “dyke” on their locker or writing negative comments about others in a “burn book.” Like all parents say to their children after they watch a horror film, “it’s just a movie.” However, in reality, people see what is on television and believe that is how life should be and therefore, that is how they should act.
Being verbally and mentally abused can cause too much of a pain to even escape, especially when the tormenter is a friend. Unfortunately, girls feel too ashamed to share what is happening to them and eventually turn to suicide to erase the humiliation. However, attempting to get help from an adult or counselor is much better than ending life altogether. In the end, it’s not about making someone else happy because the only person that truly matters is the one who is getting bullied and stands up to say “no.”
According To Parents: We are too young to "love" We're too old for "fun" We're too smart to "play" and too "immature" for grown up convos. No wonder why we are so rebellious, there's nothing else to do.
Because college applications will be drowning me in no time. And it’s funny, because I haven’t decided if I want to go to college ‘undecided’ or declare a major. ): I wish I could see what my future career is.
Last night was a night I wish could repeat over and over again. (:
So, getting ready for it was hella fun. I slept for about 11 hours, and then woke up to shower, shave, paint my nails and pack all my stuff to go to Jacky’s house. Then I went to Jacky’s house at like 2, and saw Chloe and Remy there. Chloe opened the door, and I got to see her hair put to the side and curled. Then, I walked into Jacky’s room seeing her mom doing her hair. And Jacky’s hair was big, but really pretty! Haha. I loved Remy’s hair too because it looked like Taylor Swift’s hair in a magazine.
But while Remy was getting her hair done, I had this dilemma because I didn’t know what hairstyle to do. But I ended up doing a messy bun, with a little improvisation from Jacky’s mom. Jacky helped me curl my hair (: It was lovely.
Seriously though, Jacky and Jacky’s mom are amazing! Jacky does nails and Jacky’s mom did all of our hairs and make-up. (:
Then, we were all going to take pictures, but Chloe and I couldn’t be a part of that Kodak moment because Chloe had a limo appointment and Jonathan needed me to help him get ready because he needed help tightening the vest and putting on the bow tie. And I had to go pick up the lovely corsage and boutonniere my cousin’s girlfriend, Betsy, made for me and Jonathan. (:
But yeah, so Jonathan and I arrived at Prom at around 8. Yeah, yeah, I was fashionably late. Haha. But it was nice seeing everyone all dressed up. I was like waiting to see if someone had my dress, but luckily, no one did.. at least I didn’t see anyone. I was scared because almost everyone got their dresses from Macy’s! But if someone had my dress, I wouldn’t trip, because that’d just be immature. But yeah, I loved taking hella pictures with everyone! Too bad I didn’t get to capture my own moments though, because I freaking forgot my camera in the car! ):
Anyway, overall, prom was pretty fun. I’m glad I got the experience. There was no real food, unfortunately. But there was dessert. And to be honest though, the music was not that danceable. But according to Christian, it was “grindable.” Haha, this boooy. And sadly, my corsage was falling apart! But the boutonniere retained its form.
But yeah, I ended up leaving at around 10:30 because I was kinda bored, and I was craving dinner. So Jonathan drove me to San Francisco so we could eat at the Cheesecake Factory and go up to Twin Peaks, because I’ve never been there. It was a little cloudy but it was gorgeous. (: Haha, I love my boyfriend.
And then that was pretty much my night. (: I loved it.
…write about how my life currently is. How terrible, yet happy, I feel right now. But if I write it down, I might remember how shameful it is to be in my position right now. And right now, I don’t want to feel ashamed. All I want is for things to be better for me and the people I love. And I wonder, is that too much to ask for?
Hahaha. I never really thought of it. But I want like a short, strapless dress that is skin-tight at the top and really ruffly at the bottom. And then underneath, I want black lace because it kind of accentuates the dress and adds highlight. (:
do you regret any friendships youve lost in the past
Um, I guess so. I hate losing friends, but once you lose someone, it’s kind of hard to get them back. You can try and try, but the other person has to try with you, otherwise it doesn’t work. I wish I could keep all of my friends, but people always come and go, and all I can really do is try to revive the friendship or move on. ):
o wow, that person’s taste in girls suck balls. Lousia is such a cutie pie. Do you know what’s her favorite type of flowers are? I want to surprise her for Valentine’s Day.
Hahaha. Aw. That’s cute. I actually don’t know if she has a specific type of flowers that she absolutely loves.. I think she does, but I can’t remember. But she’s really not a picky person. I’m sure she’ll love roses. (:
So I hear you and Michael Choi look alike. Just thought I should point that out. xP Hahaha.
Hahahaha. Not really. But I’ve been told that. It’s actually me and Michael Choi’s sister that look alike, apparently. When I was at my El Cerrito soccer game, this Asian girl came up to me and was like, “Are you Michael Choi’s sister?” Haha. And I was like.. “Nooo. Michael Choi’s sister is sitting right there.” Yeah, but I don’t blame her. I tend to look like most people, specifically Asians!